A DGrayMan Fairy Tale
by Kaoru-Mikagami93
Summary: This a Rewritten version of Sleeping Beauty ft. Kanda! Allen was sold out by his master to the Order to be the Prince's bodyguard. Who is this Prince? And what will happen as the story goes? Find out more as Allen gets trapped into this fairytale mix!
1. Who is she?

**A/n**: This is the rewritten version of Sleeping Beauty Ft. Kanda. I rewrote it cause it was shitty. (Actually knew its shittiness from the second I uploaded it to FanFic). So yeah, there are some changes, obviously. I just learned the nature of fanfic readers. They like to fave more than review. I feel hurt. *sits at a corner in agony*

Please review or I will cry blood out of my eye sockets. And also do the polls on my page.

**Disclaimer**: _The human who writes this fic does not own DGM._

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Chapter 1

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Have you ever thought of a fairytale version of your life? Be it a mixture of snow white or sleeping beauty or Rapunzel or the movie Andulasia. Has something close to that happened to you before?

If yes, how did it go? Just as perfectly as you imagined or dreamed?

Well, I have one to tell.

Once upon a time, there lived a prince named Kanda Yuu. His father was King Tiedoll of the Tiedoll Kingdom, the King's younger brother was Sir Bak Chan and there was the Black Order organization that assists the King in ruling the Kingdom.

Kanda, at that time was 10 years old. He lived a very calming yet prosperous life with no worries to think about, until, the King suddenly decided to move him to another part of the Kingdom, called the Exor District. The reasons are unknown as the King did not say why.

During that time, a little boy of age 8 years old had no home for him to go as the orphanage he once lived in was sold and changed into an expensive clothing boutique by a certain Earl. But he was a lucky child, for he met a long haired, red-headed man who took him in as his disciple. Together with his new master, the boy embarked on a journey.

The little boy's name was Allen Walker.

**5 years later**

"Umm, so, where are we going this time, Master?" Allen asked as he carried his master's heavy suitcase, walking right behind his Master.

"Would cha stop callin' me Master, brat?" he said in an irritated tone. "Call me Professor or Dr. Cross Marian, fool."

"How about I call you Mr. Womanizer? Fits you well, jerk," Allen muttered.

"What's that you said, brat?" Cross asked, crushing the cigar that he smoked earlier.

"Uh, nothing, my dear lovely Master!" Allen quickly replied, faking a smile. "Ssoo, where are we going next?"

"To the Exor District," Cross replied lazily, taking out another cigar from his pocket.

"What? But I thought the Exor District is the Head Quarters of The Black Order Organization. What's there to do?" Allen asked, raising an eye brow.

"I'm gonna let them train you as a high-skilled body guard and I ain't got any money to take care of dirt like you. So yeah, tata brat."

"W-What?!"

Before Allen could turn around and grab his Master's collar, Cross grabbed on one of the poles of a carriage that was passing by and escaped with it.

In a certain distance, not far away from Allen, he waved and said," Think on the bright side, brat. You get paid a lot. You'd be stinkin' rich. No, wait, I forgot, I wrote that the account of money will go into my pocket. Oh, lucky me! Ahahahahahahah!!"

"YOU BLOODY F*CKING BASTARD!"

"Work hard to get those debts paid why don't cha. One day, you'll be thanking me for this and for the wonderful experience ya gonna get."

"BLOODY ASSHOLED JERK! YOU SOLD ME OUT! And I thought you were finally gonna teach me real kung fu and stuffs yourself but you did nothing but gave me debts to pay for the last five years!"

"Tough luck, kid."

With those last words, he disappeared from sight along with the carriage, leaving Allen standing right in front of huge entrance to the Exor District.

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Allen's Point of view

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"Owh, what a great guardian he is, that jerk!! Arghhh!! This is making me feel frustrated. Now what?" I asked myself, as I kicked a rock on the road.

I had no choice but to join in this Black Order Organization as one of the men who were guarding the entrance approached me, asking me if I am Allen Walker.

"Sir, are you Allen Walker?"

"Umm, yes. Yes, I am."

"Do you have your pass or any documents saying that you got accepted from the Black Order?"

"Umm, ah… To be honest, I don't know. My master had left me nothing. Except this suitcase," I explained as I showed them the suitcase.

They opened and rummaged through it until they found this paper.

I just noticed. The things in Master's suitcase weren't his. If it were his, those things would be wine, wine, wine, cigar, cigar, cigar, money, money, money and some woman's bra or underwear. Inside it was my belongings. All of them were clean clothes that I hanged this morning and they seem to be in a state dirtied by mud and torn apart. Owh, you're so kind, Master. Thanks a bunch. He must've let some dog rip it apart. Now, what am I gonna wear tomorrow?

"Ah, you can go in. Please be careful on your way to the HQ," the man noted me with a smile.

I wasn't sure what he meant by 'being careful' on my way to the HQ, at first, but I thought that he was being nice.

But, now, I know. If I had known what he meant by 'being careful' by means of me being chased by leopards, a grizzly bear and get attacked by monkeys and almost died of hunger in a thick forest that I have to go through in order to get into the HQ, I would've pretty much NOT join the Black Order and get some work like cleaning people's shoes on the streets in some village nearby. At least, I won't die of being stuffed with unpeeled bananas in my mouth by monkeys.

Owh Master, I can't help but feel thankful for this so-called wonderful experience I just had. How can I repay you? Oh, wait. I'm paying your ridiculously large amount of debts that you should pay by the money you earned but instead you decided to leave me with these debts of yours and go around playing with some women and drink expensive wine.

Oh, what a lucky boy I am.

Finally, I reached the HQ after suffering so much in the forest. If I not, I would've became Tarzan if I fail to find the HQ. Urgh, the pain. I'm so exhausted and hungry. I don't know if I can continue walking anymore. The giant door is just right in front me. Just a bit further…

Then, a glimmer of hope came, 2 men came to me as the giant door opened and helped me stand up, carried my suitcase, showed me to my room and showed me to this humongous café where I can order up anything I want.

Oh, God. Thank you for such wonderful food. I love you so much that I would read the bible everywhere, even when I'm in the toilet!! Okay, I admit that is quite rude, weird, disgusting and over but what I'm saying is that I'm really grateful in way that I described myself in word that I want to repay God by doing something religious. So please readers, do not get any wrong idea or get angry with me. I hope you all understand.

Now, back to the main story.

After eating, I thought of taking a walk and have a look around. Who knows I might get lost in the future if I don't recognize the new surroundings around me. I walked out of the café area and went straight into the training field. It was wide and seems to be full with equipments used to train people like a punching bag or something like that.

I was enjoying the moments I observed the field until I heard a voice saying," Move, aside! Move aside! Move aside! Move aside!"

I was standing in front of a wall. I didn't bother myself with the voice as it sounded from a distant place far from me. And so I thought that it must have belonged to someone else out there, scolding a trainee.

But I was proved wrong as the voice seems to be getting clearer, nearer and louder. I turned around to find myself almost got sliced into two by a sword. Luckily I ducked down in time.

I fumed up and was ready to blast one hell of a lecture and foul language to that arse responsible for this but the anger fade away as I saw a pretty Japanese girl whose long jet-black hair was fluttering in beauty, wearing a Japanese Hakama right in front of me.

"Che," murmured the girl, making an irritated expression on her face as she wipe the sweat on her forehead away. I just stood there, dumbfounded.

She was the one who almost killed me but who is she, I wonder?

_**To be continued…**_

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A/n**: Please review or I will cry blood out of my eye sockets. And I made the first chapter slightly short. I'll promise you all that it'll be longer in chapter 2. FYI, I'm very bad at choosing the genre for this fic.


	2. Now I know, She is a He

**A/n: **Review or I'll cry blood out of my eye sockets, again. A review from each of you guys would make me happy. If you're kind enough, please do the polls on my page….

Review's reply shall be at the end of this story.

**Disclaimer:** _The human who wrote this fic does not own DGM.

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**Chapter 2

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I stood there in silence for a while, thinking whether the person in front of me was a girl or a boy. Her chest was very flat. She had the cold eyes of a menacing man. She had black-jet long hair similar to a samurai. I was confused. But ah hell, I should apologize, although I know that it was partly her fault.

For I am a gentleman must apologize to her! Well, aren't I? I mean aren't I the Lady's man in the DGM Anime Series? I know that Tyki's hot, but I'm cute and hotter!~

Anyways, she's really, really pretty. She had those black-jet eyes and long black-jet hair that was tied in a high ponytail at the back of her head. Though, it'd be nice if she didn't have a machine gun for a mouth cause. Get what I mean?

I walked up to her and smiled, "Umm, sorry about earlier, miss. Btw, I'm Allen Walker. Kinda new here."

"Nuisance," hissed the girl, narrowing her eyes on me. I took a step backward.

"E-ehh?"

"And it's Kanda to you, puny," she continued and then left. From afar, I can hear her saying," Watch where you were going, you asshole!"

"What was that about? Hmm… I think I've heard of that name before. Ah well."

After our short conversation, I left the training field and went back to the café.

Meanwhile, a red-headed teen was by the entrance to this café. Many eyes set on him as he walked in. I could just see big hearts in the girls' eyes. The guys were busy talking about something.

"Psst, Isn't that the new kid?" whispered a guy to his friends.

"Yeah, but he looks like an old geezer with that white hair of his," responded one of his friends.

"And he looks so puny. Are you sure he's the Famed Cross Marian's student?"

"Dunno, but people say that he has the eyes of a demon with a scar running down his face on one of his eyes. Look."

(A/n: From this part, use your mighty powerful imagination!)

I narrowed my left eye with the other one wide open and _red _as if it got sprayed by a pepper spray and looked around with a serious expression on my face.

"See, I told cha. The eyes of a demon," the guy continued, shivering.

Like what the heck? Eyes of a demon? Me? Another way to describe my expression was '…with a serious look of desperate need to find the toilet'.

"_Where the hell is the bloody toilet?!" _I thought as I looked left and right.

Yes, I went back to the café to look whether there's any nearby toilet. Nature's calling me, you can't blame me. And no, I did not bring a bible. Now, I can't seriously read that in the toilet, am I right?

Huh. I didn't expect Master to be famous. I bet it was him who spread such silly description of me to other people. When I see him again, I'll repay his so-called kindness, alright. Why I thank you Master, again, for such creative description! No wonder people ran away from me when I had trouble with directions earlier! Some even wetted their own pants upon seeing me!

How am I sure? Good question. As I continued to look for the toilet, they continued to chatter.

"He may look puny but I heard that he had the power of a hulk!"

That's why.

-

Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet.

Allen. Allen. Allen. Allen.

Wow, they rhyme. Those words were the only ones in Lavi's and my mind that time. I was in Lavi's direction but I didn't bother myself with him.

Lavi then saw me and blocked my way.

"Owh, hey! Are you the new kid, Allen walker?" asked the energetic teen.

"A-ah, yeah. And you are…?" I asked him with an eye brow raised.

"Lavi Bookman Jr. I'm your partner! Pleased to meet ya!" replied the cheerful red-headed teen.

"Owh, yeah, sure, great. Oh, look at the time!" I exclaimed sarcastically.

"What time? You don't have a watch on you –"

"Ah, got to go!"

"No, wait!"

"WHAT?!" I shouted at him, with my legs jogging in one place, I need to go to the toilet.

"I think we should go to Komui's office together, so…"

"What the hell does this guy wants from me now?! I need to pee. Pee, darn it! Pee! Is it so wrong for me to want to pee in the toilet?!" I cried in my thoughts as he was busy blabbering shit.

Ah Allen, don't be rude. Be nice. It's not polite to say that. Ahhhh!!! My bladder can't hold it.

-

Ahh, it felt good. Good that I made it to the toilet. That Lavi guy kept hanging on my leg, begging to me to go with him to Komui's office. And so I had to drag him to the toilet. Great, instead of a bible, it's a guy. People would think I'm gay. Just great.

"Shit," Lavi rasped.

"What?" I asked.

"We seriously need to go to Komui's office," he explained. "Right, to Komui's office in bunny speed!"

_(Please play one of Batman's theme songs which is most played in the scene where Batman says to Robin," To the Batcave!" or something like that. Well, if you have the soundtrack that is)._

And off I go with Lavi. I shrieked for 5 minutes continuously and I am very sure that everyone heard me.

**

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At Komui's office**

"Huff, huff, huff," I and Lavi panted.

"W-what's going on?" was the expression my face as I looked at him when I wiped away my sweat.

"Today, we're supposed to officially meet the heir to King Tiedoll's throne. So Komui, who's in charge of Tiedoll Kingdom's Black Order Organization will be introducing him/her to us," he explained.

"Owh."

Not long, a curly purple-haired man in white came into the office along with a dark green-haired girl whose hair was tied in two long pigtails.

"Hello and welcome to the Black Order organization, Allen walker and Lavi Bookman Jr," the man greeted. "I am Komui Lee, President of the Tiedoll Kingdom Branch's Black Order Organization and this is my assistant and sister, Lenalee Lee."

"Hello! It's a pleasure to work with you all," the girl greeted as she shook hands with me and Lavi.

"Now, too bad that the two of you are not girls," remarked Komui as he eyed me and Lavi closely, face to face. "It seems that you have taken interest in my sister! Am I not wrong?! *fixes his glasses on his nose*"

"Huh?" I and Lavi said in unison, as a giant question mark appears above our heads.

"Do you think I'm gonna fall for that, 'huh, I don't get you, sir' trick?! Let me state the rules here. I DO NOT ALLOW YOU TO FLIRT, TOUCH, DATE AND KISS OR TAKE MY SISTER's VIRGINITY!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" he shouted. "Or I will make sure you will suffer! AHOHOHOHOHOHOHH!"

"U-uhh.. Y-yes s-sir!" we responded.

Whoa. Sister complex much? I pity this Chinese girl for having such brother. I don't think she'll ever get married in the future at this rate, if the brother keeps acting like that. Poor Lenalee.

"Brother! Geez!" Lenalee scolded.

"Brother didn't do anything wrong! I was just being protective of you and worried that they'll do something to you," he explained, making that old-fashioned 'puppy-dog eyes' in front of Lenalee.

I was busy looking at Lenalee scolding her brother, until; a familiar figure came into the room.

"What the hell was f*cking important that you had to call me, curly?!" said the figure. "This better be worth my sleep or else I'll cut your curly hair off your head!"

It was the girl from earlier! She was in her cute pajamas that had weird but seems to be cute little soba prints all over it. Her hair was down and this made her look more girlier! But then again, isn't a bit too early to wear pajamas?

All four of us turned our heads towards to the girl's direction.

"Owh hey!" I waved. Everyone was surprised by how informal my actions were towards her.

"Har?"

"I'm really sorry about earlier," I continued while I looked for something in my pocket. "Here! I hope you like them… They're freshly picked from a garden nearby."

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Lavi's Point of View

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I don't get it. Allen gave Kanda flowers, big whoop. I don't see anything wrong with it, so why did Lenalee and Komui just froze in shock? Well, I'm gonna give her some flowers myself too. She's spicy, even though she has a flat chest. Tee hee, cute. Lenalee's next.

Kanda went silent. She didn't even bother to say "thank you" or anything else. The atmosphere around her suddenly turned dull and as if the flowers that he was holding wilted all of sudden.

"Are you kidding me, puny sprout? " were the words that came from Kanda's mouth. A vein popped on his forehead.

Without hesitation, Kanda grabbed his collar, pulled him closer and stuffed his mouth with the flowers in irritation and walked away to the door.

"Allen, w-what did you just do?" Lenalee asked, with her eyes wide opened.

"Umm, give hurr fplowahs, fwaii?" he replied. Allen's inappropriate pronunciations of words were due to the flowers still in his mouth.

"N-no! No! No! No! Don't leave yet Kanda!" shrieked the curly-haired man as he flustered.

"Leave? Why should I be here? I'm sick of guys giving me flowers every time they lay their eyeballs on me," he explained as he clenched his sword. "Why, they all should be shredded to pieces!"

Everyone gulped at those words. Tough cookie, ain't she? Well, I'll continue to hit her, alright. I mean how could you girls not fall for a hottie like me? *smirks* I know you want me. Yawww!~~

Anyways, I pity Allen though; he's too much of a gentleman to argue with a girl. He looked like he doesn't know what else to say.

He was about to say something until a man in brown came into the room. He approached Komui and whispered something into his ear. Then he left.

"Right, " Komui said as he clapped his hands. "Bring them in!"

A group of excited girls came into the room. All of them were hot and cute, damn, I wanna date them all. When they all saw me, I knew right away that they had a thing for me. Score!

Before I could go talk and flirt with them I was interrupted.

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Kanda's Point of view

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"This shit, again, curly?!" I glared at them with my death glare.

"Y-yeah… Look, I can't do anything about it, it was your father - ," Komui stuttered.

"THAT F*CKING ASSHOLED GEEZER!" I interrupted and cursed as I clenched my sword, Mugen, even harder.

"Now, now, let's settle down first. He was just thinking of your happines - ."

"MY HAPPINESS MY ASS! THAT NO GOOD BASTARD DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME,"

"B-but either way, you have to pick one of them… I mean, look at them, they're cute and pretty, how could you not like the choices that your uncle made?"

"Owh, Bak Chan chooses for me, eh? Wait till I see him and rip that asshole apart,"

"Well, isn't it good enough that Bak Chan choose those girls for him? It'll be better that way. He won't and shall never have my Lenalee!" that curly-haired freak mumbled, laughing to himself.

"What's that complex-sister freak?" I hissed.

I shot back my glare at him.

Everyone squealed and gasped in fear at my menacing words, every now and then. Some would faint. It's f*cking annoying.

Then, there's this f*cking irritating bean sprout.

"Umm, excuse me but I don't get the commotion here. What is actually happening?"

"Ah, good you asked, Allen," Komui remarked. "You see, Kanda's father, King Tiedoll, had his younger brother, Sir Bak Chan to pick candidates for Kanda's fiancée. So here are some of them. All Kanda needs to do is just pick one."

"Ah, I see… NO, wait…" the sprout said as his eyes widened. "You're saying Kanda is King Tiedoll's heir?"

"Yup."

"Fiancee? All girls?"

"Aha. All girls."

"Does that mean that Kanda is a lesbian? Or a bi?" questioned the sprout with hesitation in his tone.

Like what the fucking hell?! CURSE THAT SICK-MINDED SPROUT!

"Allen," Lenalee called.

"Yeah?"

"Kanda is a boy. You do know that right?"

"……"

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Allen's point of view

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I gasped and tried hard to find my breath so that I could talk and breathe properly upon hearing that shocking news. Kanda is a boy?! Like for real?! What the hell?!

If I had known earlier that he was a boy, I would've not given him flowers cause it caused my mouth to be bigger! I bet master would say something shitty like," Think of the bright side, brat. You don't need to buy a vacuum cleaner and dinner. You can just suck and eat the dirt if you ever need to clean your room. Hyahahahahahahahhh!! Man, I'm funny!"

I squealed in agony in my thoughts as I wriggled my fingers and shivered in disgust. That's it! No more pranks, I have to make sure. And _that's_ the only way I could think of.

I approached him and observed closer. I slapped Kanda's chest and tried to feel something. I know I must be crazy for doing so but I had to make sure. I couldn't feel anything. Then, I had no choice but to touch _that_. I looked down at his pants.

"What the f*ck are you doing, sprout?!" he screeched.

I paused my actions for a while.

"What did you call me?"

"Sprout."

"What?"

"Sprout!"

"What?"

"What are you, deaf?"

And from that I moment, he had nicknamed me bean sprout which annoys me like hell.

"My name is Allen Walker, you, grumpy-arse!"

"No, sprout is better because you're so puny. I don't know if you get what I mean, since you might also have a puny brain the size of a bean sprout seed," he responded in a sarcastic tone and smirked.

I and Kanda engaged in our battles of bad languages. We went on until Lenalee had to separate both of us.

"Righto! Stop it, you two!"

"Yeah, we wasted a lot of time and we need Kanda to pick one of the girls now!" exclaimed Komui.

**_To be continued..._**

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A/n**: There, like I promised, a bit longer. I didn't expect myself to update it soon. Review please and tell what you think of chapter 2.

**Replies for reviews:**

**Azure:** Thanks for the review and the good luck! And Yay for comedy! XDDD

*sits in a corner in agony* one of your stories had 40 reviews… so lucky of you.

**Marufu-chan: **Thanks for the review and for encouraging me! ;_; owh, and you wouldn't mind me watching you on DA, right? :D I wanna add you to my DA watch list. Your drawings are nice!


	3. The First Candidate was Hideous

**A/n**: Okay, since Marufu-chan asked me not to cry blood, again, then I shall say, "Please review or you'll have to face my… uh, overflowing tears." I thank everyone who faved and reviewed my story. You all have encouraged me to continue my story. Thank you!

Btw, do you guys want little romance in this story? My mind would go blank when it comes to romance as I don't pretty much like (depends on the story) and understand romance but then again, I thought it might amuse you guys somehow. Hmm… I might change my mind though on the romance thing. Depends…

**Disclaimer:** _The human who writes this fic does not own DGM._

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Chapter 3**

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Allen's Point of View

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He only stared at Komui and mumbled something. Then, he turned around and sighed, "Fine."

Hearing that word coming out from Kanda's mouth, Komui and Lenalee jumped up and down in happiness.

"Yay, my best friend finally gets a fiancé! I'm so happy for you!"

"Yay, my sister's best friend will never get my Lenalee! I'm so happy for me!"

Komui then instructed Kanda to go over to where the girls were standing. One of the girls was umm, to describe her in one word, was hideous. She had that long messy hair covered with dandruff flakes, thick brows knitted into one, slightly muscular but fat body, a tattoo on her left arm that says," Rejoice for G-Love!" which may stands for Gay Love, long armpit hair coming out of her armpit that can be seen clearly as she wears a sleeveless, plain white summer dress and since the summer dress' length is just above her knees, she seems to have an inch-long leg hairs. Whoah, that's wayyy too long.

Other than that, she had a giant mole which had hair, on her right cheek and teeth that seems to be in a real bad shape. Not only that, flies seems to be swarming around her and I mean A LOT. Doesn't she ever bathe? Oh my God! Eww.

Oh god, such a foul sight. Not to be rude or anything, but she's so u-ugly that whenever you look at her, you can hear someone scream and a thunder can be heard. She's like a female version of the hulk! Only, she's not green… But then again, I'd be laughing my ass of if Kanda actually picked this girl. It'll be like the Beauty and the Beast. No, no, scratch that. It's more like the The Arse and the Beast. Yesh, that fits them splendidly! You all agree with me, right?

Kanda gave a disgusted look on his face when he saw that girl. He even coughed a lot because he accidently smelled _that smell_ leaking out of the girl. Tears can be seen from the corners of his eyes as he continued to cough and wave his hands in the air to make that foul smell go away. I'm curious, is that smell really that _foul_ that it makes you cry just like when you chop those onions?

I was given a gas mask by Komui. So, me, Komui, Lavi and Lenalee could breathe just fine. No one dared to go to where Kanda was. We stood here, in a distance away from where he was standing.

"C-cross this girl's name out from the list!" Kanda finally coughed out his words.

"Are you sure?" Komui asked. "You should give her a chance."

"What are you, blind, curly? This girl is obviously not a girl. She's too ugly to be a girl."

Come to think of it, I did mention G-Love which may stands for Gay Love, right? It might be possible that this 'girl' is….

-

"Well, you got a point there, the girl looks too suspicious," whispered Lavi.

"W-what d-do you m-mean?" the 'girl' stammered. "I am a girl! W-well, to prove it to y-you, I-I will sing a beautiful melody that only girls can sing! Okay, here I go, La – ~"

Before 'she' could start singing the possible 'ear-hurting' notes, Kanda drew out his sword quickly at the girl's throat.

"Let me make this clear for you, pansy. If you get out now, you'll live. If you stay, I will not hesitate to make you feel my mugen!" hissed Kanda, smirking as he gave out that aura of menace.

"H-huh?" stuttered the 'girl'.

In a split second, Kanda slashed the girl's summer dress. What do you know? The so-called girl is a man. Whoah.

"This is a warning; out you go or die," warned Kanda, pointing his Mugen to the door.

The girls giggled at that man who was trembling, half-naked in front of Kanda. He yelped in a sissy voice and ran out to the door, crying.

Kanda looked right and glared at the other candidates with his death glare, making them shrink smaller in fright.

"Cross off ALL of their names!" Kanda ordered Komui.

"E-EHHH?!" the girls and Komui exclaimed.

"They don't interest me. This fiancé thing is a waste of time." Kanda continued. "I'm leaving."

"No, wait, Kanda. King Tiedoll is gonna – "

"Don't mention that no good bastard's name!"

Then, he just left.

-

Okay, let's call the first candidate, Bob. If Kanda never actually knew that Bob was a man and was forced to marry him, I'm pretty sure that Bob will become a successful wife cause he would probably write a book about him being the first gay man to marry someone from the royal family and a book about 'How To Get a Royal Guy Wrapped in Your Fingers for Gays.

Umm, that was my random imagination. However, I can't imagine them sleeping together in the same bed. Bet Bob farts a lot when sleeping. Brrrr.

Back to the main story.

Komui sighed and sat to a couch nearby.

"What I gonna do? I don't wanna disappoint the King again," Komui muttered.

"I'm sure the King will understand somehow," Lenalee said, placing her hand on Komui's shoulder.

"Ah, Lenalee!~ I'm touched! You even tried to make brother cheer up! Boohoohohhoohoo," Komui responded as he cried in joy using fake tear drops.

"So, what are we gonna do?" Lavi asked.

"Well," said Komui, fixing his glasses. "I guess you can leave now and relax for a while."

"That's all?"

"Yes. We will immediately call you when needed or when there is a mission."

"Okay, let's go Allen!" said Lavi.

"Ah, sure." I answered.

"Hohoho, I'll make you two suffer later on. I will never hand over my Lenalee to you. NEVER I TELL YA!" mumbled Komui to himself.

"What's that Komui? I didn't hear you," Lavi responded, as we were at the door already.

"Ah nothing. Hehehe. You may leave now."

And so we left. Now what?

**

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Lavi's Point of View

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"So what are gonna do?" asked Allen.

"Hmm… I dunno…" I answered. "Maybe we should go to some place where we can relax and talk,"

"Good Idea. I guess I do need to know more about you, since you are my new partner," Allen replied. "But relax where?"

"Yeah, so what's it gonna be. Saunas or hot springs?"

"What?! There's sauna and hot springs here?!" Allen shouted.

My ears flinched, somehow, just like those of cat's ear.

"Whoah, Ally, no need to be so loud. Yes. The Black Order has saunas and hot springs. This place is pretty loaded. You name it, they have it."

"Wow…. "

Haha. Well, there goes Allen, his eyes going all twinkly and his mouth wide open as his drool dripped onto the floor.

**

* * *

Allen's Point of view

* * *

**

"Uwahhhhhh!!! I wanna go to the hot spring!" I said in a joyful tone.

I mean, who doesn't want to go to the hot springs? I've never been to one because of that no good Master. I recently found out that Master usually goes to the public hot spring and keep quiet about it, leaving me to bathe using cold water in an open bath. Don't you know how painful and cold that was? Sob. Sob. It's not fair!

"Then hot spring it is," Lavi replied as he smiled.

So I and Lavi dashed into our rooms, took extra clothes and towels with us and went to the hot springs. My, it was relaxing! Ah, it felt like heaven. Oh God, I thank you for the hot spring! I shall thank you by umm… not choosing and wasting food that I'm gonna eat. Yeah, that right! Thank you so much.

-

There were only us in the hot spring. So we talked and talked as we relaxed and playing around in the hot spring.

"So, how old are you, Allen?" Lavi asked as he playing with his rubber ducky and a rubber ducky that seems to look like Kanda.

"Owh, me? 13. What about you?"

"15, just like Kanda."

"Owh."

"So what brings you here, Allen?"

"Well, my jack-assed Master kinda abandoned me here cause he said he doesn't have any money to take care of me and he needs money to buy more cigar, wine and attract women,"

"Ouch. That's mean of him."

"Yeah. I'm pretty used to it."

Not long we heard footsteps outside. A familiar figure passed by.

"Umm, could cha wait here just for a sec?" asked Lavi.

"Sure," I replied in suspicion.

Lavi's point of view

Oh my gosh. I don't believe it. Was that Kanda? Tee hee, I knew that she couldn't get herself away from me! I covered my bottom part in a small bath towel but I didn't care. There wasn't anyone else here. I walked to left and into the changing room. I didn't really see which changing room was it; women or men's. I went there and found the very same familiar figure that passed by the hot spring that Allen and I were in.

Excited, I pounced on the figure, thinking it was Kanda. But what I felt on my hands were muscular hands and body. I sweat dropped and back away. Then, froze.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked the figure. I was too shocked to say anything. The person in front of me was a long haired, red-headed man.

Eewwww!! I hugged a guy in a romantic way. I hugged a guy in a romantic way. I hugged a guy in a romantic way. I hugged a guy in a romantic way. I hugged a guy in a romantic way. I HUGGED A GUY IN A ROMANTIC WAYYYYYYY. NNNOOOOOO!! If there is any yaoi fan readers here, please do not misunderstand. I do not have a thing for that guy! And no, he no seme, me no uke, please.

"Shit, I need to get out of here," said the figure. "Guess I have to say goodbye to free hot spring. Bet that brat is enjoying the moments here. Shit of all shits. Why did I have to leave this place in the first place?"

He took his clothes and ran away. I was still standing in shock. Then, Allen came.

"Hey, what took you long? I thought that you might've slipped on the floor and fainted," he said. "Hello? Earth to Lavi~"

A slammed door sound was then heard. "Allen! Lavi! Are you here? Someone very important is here to see!" informed a familiar voice. It belonged to Komui. "It'd be best if you go to the office asap!"

"W-who?" I finally spoke and moved my body from the shock.

Komui made a serious expression. "I believe you have met his son already."

_**To be continued...**_

**

* * *

A/n**: The next chapter might surprise you a bit. Maybe, maybe not. Tell me what you think of this chapter. A bit boring, right? Sorry. I was kinda in a rush to finish this chapter. I didn't want to disappoint readers for updating it late. Like months. Next chappie will be longer.

I wonder why, whenever there is the word DGM in full words (Ya know, DdotGraydashMan) it would disappear in my story. Only dashMan can be seen. I see that it also occurs to others' stories.


	4. Lavi and Allen in Wonderland!

**A/n**: Sorry for updating sssooooo late. End of Year exams came up.

People, I'd seriously like to thank you so much for a lot of the faves and subscription but for the love of chocolate, please review! It motivates me to write more. I'd really like to know what do think of this story as it goes on. Thank you :D

**Disclaimer:** _The human who writes this fic does not own DGM._

**

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

**

**Allen's Point of View**

Someone important wants to meet us. I wondered who was it. Could it be…

-

Me and Lavi dashed straight out of the changing room after listening to what Komui said. As we dashed out, we suddenly remembered that we left our clothes back at the changing room. Upon remembering such matter, I palmed or slapped as you may call it, my forehead. Argh, stupid of us! Of all things, why this? Sigh. So, umm… Yeah, we're running, half-naked, only covering our private parts with a small towel to the office. On second thought, make that 'running almost naked'. Crap.

Oh boy. THIS, WE CAN'T LET ANYONE SEE! DAMN OF ALL DAMNATION! But by the time we realized it, we've already reached the office. Great.

"Shit," I and Lavi rasped in audibly.

"Should we run back to the changing room?" I asked, looking around just to be cautious.

Lavi massaged his side of his temple. He was about to say something until something happened.

Our eyes widened and we froze in shock, unable to move a single nerve. As the door opened, rays of blinding light shone at us, causing us to have to cover our eyes.

"Wha? What's with this light?" Lavi asked as he looked at me through his squinted eyes.

"I dunno. Wait. Who's that?"

A large, tall figure stood at the door. Who is that? Don't tell me…

Is that God?

I never knew God have reddish-orange curly hair, tied low at the back of his head, wear red-framed glasses and have a reddish-orange moustache.

And he's wearing casual clothes too! That's new. A purple collared long-sleeve shirt with white pants and sandals. I thought God was supposed to have long, brown wavy hair and wear that Greek dress thing.

He must've wanted a new makeover. Fits him perfectly though.

"Welcome, my new children!" the figure greeted as he embraced both of us towards his chest. "I have been waiting for you. Do come in~!"

The thing is I can't see his face clearly. The light is still blinding us. Where the heck does that light come from? Other than the light that was irritating our eyes, there was this singing voice going, "Aaaaahh~~~~~~" like how those choir from the church would sing.

Where does that voice come from, seriously.

"Oh. Sorry kids for the torch light thing," said the figure, switching off the torch light in his other hand and the radio placed on a cabinet at the back of the door. "And the radio too. Come on and sit down."

Ohhh, so the light was from the torch light. And the voice from the radio? What the…?

"Owh! I have sweets in my pocket! Would you like some?"

Sweets?

"Also, I brought some fresh-baked cakes. Strawberry Shortcakes. I do hope you like strawberries~! I worked so hard to bake them. Do eat them please~"

Cakes? God offers sweets and cakes to his people? And he bakes them too?

What the…?

"Ack! K-King F-Froi Tiedoll?!" Lavi gasped his voice out, taking a step backward.

WHAT?! THE K-KING?! FOR REAL?!

"Yes, sweety~?"

"Uh nothing, sir, highness, sir!"

B-but… Kings aren't supposed to give sweets to his people and bake cakes for them, are they? Not to mention, calling them _sweety _too. Urgh.

And I thought King Tiedoll was all buffed and… and scary, real tall, wears those weird tight clothes and is always bringing a whip.

Yes, a whip. I always imagined him torture little boys like me in a seductive yet creepy way, using that ridiculously pink-coloured and accessorized-with-butterflies whip. Like how Mikan imagined how Narumi treated Natsume in the 1st or 2nd episode of Alice Academy (Gakuen Alice).

In my imagination, he would go….

"_Come here! Or else I'll let some gay guy rape you! Harharharharha!!~~~~" _

"_No! No, please! I beg of you, please let go of me!!" cried the little boy, who is tied up by a mass layers of rope._

"_What's that? You still refuse to come with me? Fine then! I'll use the hard way!" responded the imaginary-ooc-Tiedoll. (__**ooc**__: Out of Character)._

_And then he would whip the kid in a seductive manner and laugh like some crazy bitch. _

Well, that's my imagination. Why, I didn't expect the King to be such a nice, _motherly_ person.

Maybe a bit too _motherly_.

-

"Ahem. The mission, your Majesty," a familiar voice intervened our not-what-we-expected moment. It belonged to Komui, who had just entered the room.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," the King responded, scratching his head. "I guess we'll have to save our chit chats for tea next time, sweeties."

The King's expression then contorted into a serious look. We stood still; ready to listen to the details of our mission.

"Recently, a group called "Noahs" have been seen around attacking people around our country. On their way attacking people, they kidnap and kill some. Talking about bloodshed."

Bloodshed? Kidnapping? So it's true. I heard from Master before that a group of weird people called the 'Noahs' had been kidnapping people. Due to this, a lot of people had to move out of their hometowns.

"The motive of the leader kidnapper is unknown but we all know that they only kidnap people when important occasions are held. Like festivals, ceremonies, parties, etc."

"Tonight, there will be a royal birthday celebration at The Trick Heart Castle, Tiedoll Kingdom. I will assign you two, Allen and Lavi, Howard Link and Lenalee Lee to watch over my daughter, guests of honor and the people who attended the celebration as well," Tiedoll explained.

Daughter? Does that mean Kanda has a younger sister?

"Any abnormal activity or suspicious people seen, report to us right away. The sooner we catch the culprit, the better."

"But… Doesn't the Tiedoll Kingdom like a day to reach if we're using a carriage or a car?" Lavi asked, looking concerned. "I don't wanna walk. I might get _too skinny _once I reach there and Al here might die of hunger."

"Ah, worry not. We have a shortcut," Komui stated, his eyes glittering and his lips shaped into a curve.

He walked over to his table, took out some kind of remote control from the drawers and pressed the red button on it.

All of sudden, the floor that we're standing on started to shake.

"Is that your stomach grumbling, Allen?" questioned Lavi. "Ahahaha, cause, uh, the floor kinda shakes _a lot_ that I can feel the vibrations through my foot."

"No. NO, IT IS NOT MY STOMACH," I replied, saying each word slowly enough for Lavi's ear to catch. We both sweat dropped in anime style.

We felt a breeze of cold air brushing against our necks. When I looked down, a hole, A FREAKING HUMOUNGOUS HOLE appeared. HOLY SHIT!

"W-WHAT THE H-HELL?!" I and Lavi panicked. We tried to grab on things near us but failed.

We fell into the hole. Yikes!

"Welcome to the Rabbit's Hole to Wonderland," Komui said, smirking as his eyes glittered on his evil-looking expression. "It's the best shortcut you'll ever have. Don't worry about getting lost, someone will come and pick you up."

With those last words, his figure faded away from our sight.

It was a deep, deep, hole. I think it's been more than an hour since we fell into the hole. When will this fall end?

Ah! Lavi! Where is he?

"Laavvii!! " I tried calling out to him. "Where are you?"

"I'm right down here! I'm fine!" a voice from below replied. It must be Lavi's. But his voice was fading away.

After that, there was only silence.

As I fell down endlessly, I began to think about a lot of things that I never bothered with.

Upon doing so, the King's word suddenly turned up. The word kept echoing in my mind, "Bloodshed…"

Bloodshed… I'm just a boy with a deformed arm. I can't do much… but a lot of innocent people are going to die… I have to do something about this, as my atonement. For I was the boy who failed to save Mana. I don't want to be the boy who couldn't save anyone.

Ma..na.. What should I do…?

"Oi, follow the rabbit," an unfamiliar voice whispered to me.

M-mana?

-

"Allen? Earth to Allen~~~" a voice called out to me.

"Eh?" I responded as I gained consciousness.

My senses slowly came back to me. First, my sight, of which I saw a blur image of a figure with red hair and the blazing sunlight from his back.

I squinted my eyes. Then, my sense to feel. It feels as if I'm lying on something soft and a lot. Could it be grasses? After that my sense of smell of which I smelled something flowery scent in the breeze.

The breeze brushed against my cheeks softly as I looked around. My sight was still blur.

"If you don't wake up now, I'll kiss you!" the figure teased, pouting his lips in a teasing manner.

That made me jerked up, and hid behind the tree nearby.

"Owh, it's you," I remarked as I wiped away beads of sweat on my forehead.

"Hahaha, if I didn't do so, you would've kept lying down on the grass," Lavi chirped.

"As if," I replied. "Btw, where are we?"

I looked at my surroundings in shock, trying to catch every glimpse of it as it seemed way impossible for me. A forest, with trees of all colours and weird signs on it. Is this Heaven or W-wonderland?!

**

* * *

Lavi's Point of View

* * *

**

"I-is this Wonderland?" the boy finally choked out his word after taking a very clear image of the place.

"I think so. Komui did say something about Rabbit's Hole to Wonderland," I replied, looking at the place in awe.

Why, if this was heaven, man, I would've been in a paradise beach, chasing hawt girls wearing bikinis and just relaxing on the beach, seriously. Man, and I thought Tiedoll was God! If not I would've asked him to send me to Heaven.

"H-hey, what's with these clothes," Allen interrupted, looking every inch of it. "I thought we were half-naked when we fell into the hole."

"I dunno. When I woke up, both of us were already dressed up like this," I replied, scratching my head.

**(A/n: To be honest, their clothes are kinda hard to describe. But I've drawn them in such clothes already, so erk, I'll upload them on my deviantart and give the link for you guys to view asap).**

We were wearing dresses, nicely designed and made, with all those puffy-sleeves, laces and frills, ribbons and those girly things on it. Simple to say, the description is complicated, just what you see what princesses or cute Lolita girls would wear.

The only common thing that I noticed was that we had the same rose symbol on one part of our accessories; one on my eye patch and one on Allen's hat.

I gotta say, if I was a girl I would've looked hot in this dress. But I'm a guy, and it kinda feels gay wearing this but hey, the colour fits my hair and eyes. Black and red. Blue and white for Allen. Awww, ain't he the cutest? If Allen was a girl, I would've flirted with him. Too bad he's a boy. Hurmm… Wonder what's Lenalee's outfit? The rabbit maybe? Ahuhuhuhu, can't wait to see her!

"Lavi, don't you feel weird? " asked the white-haired boy.

"Weird how?" I replied back with a question.

"I have this tingly feeling in my head. Like there's butterflies or something."

"Now that you mention it, I do too."

And without realizing, we uh started to…

"OH MAI GAWD! Allen, darling! I SO FRICKING LOVE YOUR DRESS! Like, how come I don't get to wear something like thaat? " I, in somewhat ridiculous way, talked to Allen, in a way how girly girls or snobby popular girls would talk to each other.

"Yeah, aha~ I know right! Ahahahahaha," Allen replied, laughing and snorting like how nerds would laugh. Ya know, the nerd laugh, that goes through your noses.

Allen covered his mouth after he heard his own nerd laugh. "WTH just happened?!"

"It must be the madness in this place that's slowly affecting you," a voice replied.

Footsteps were heard, a man with rabbit ears appeared behind the pink tree that was located just right in front of us.

"Howard Link. You two must be Allen Walker and Lavi Bookman Junior, I presume?" said the man, holding some kind of document paper in his right hand.

**

* * *

Allen's Point of view

* * *

**

A man with white rabbit ears appeared before us. He had blonde hair, braided low behind his head and his fringe was short that I can see his billboard forehead. He was wearing what the Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland wore in the book. I wonder, why do men with long hair have soft, smooth looking hair? Did he use Sunsillk or something? Then, I noticed something else. His forehead. There's these 2 dots on his forehead. I can't help but stare in awe at it.

"I'm here to escort you two to the castle," the man explained.

Before I could proceed on investigating what the two 'fascinating' dots on his forehead were, he gave Lavi a hammer and both of us a card. That's not fair. How come I wasn't given a weapon?

Anyway, the my card says 'WHITE ALICE: Alice.'

"What's this supposed to do?" I asked.

"It's your undercover name. Yours is Alice the White Alice and agent Bookman is Ecila the Dark Alice."

Lavi and I only nodded our heads.

"Never reveal your real names. Remember that, agents," he added.

Agents? Who are we? James Bond or something?

Then he turned around and took out some kind of paper written with spells on it. He mumbled something which might be spells and then threw it into the air.

"OPEN!" he voiced out. A path made up of marbles appeared. "We'll be using this path to go the castle."

"How do we know you're actually here to help us?" Lavi asked, eyeing Link in a suspicious manner.

"This rose symbol," he replied, showing his pocket watch. "Still don't believe me? Or do you prefer staying here and let madness consume you, and who know what will happen to you guys."

"Er, on second thought, never mind what I said earlier."

Without waiting any longer, we embarked on our journey to the castle.

-

**

* * *

At the Castle

* * *

**

Arrrrgggghhhhh! Being stuck with a guy who's hair is similar to an Alchemist, makes me goes nut. He probably was a crazed anime fan of FMA.

When we were on our journey to the castle, this Howard guy starts ordering me around and criticizing whatever I do. What is he, my mother?

We were taking a rest when suddenly he decided to get 'motherly' with us like….

"Sit properly, Walker. Ladies do not sit with their legs wide open!"

"I'm a guy for goodness sake!" I replied, raising my voice in annoyance as he kept repeating the same thing for the damned 20th time. "God! And I just met you and you're blabbering this already!"

"I am only following orders of Inspector Leverrier," he replied.

I scowled and gritted my teeth at his lame excuse.

"And please, fix your hair! It's messy. I don't want the gentlemen there badmouthing you about that."

"Well why don't Thou do something about the two Mt. Everests on Thou's billboard forehead? I am for sure that if Thou leave it just like that, it will scare women away," I sarcastically, replied in a British accent. "I don't want Thou to be left alone and old for the rest of Thou's life."

"I'll have you know they're my beauty spot!" He remarked, trying to blind me with his zit's shine.

"Those humongous zits are your beauty spot?" I questioned, raising a brow in disgust. "Don't tell me, they make you look perfect and balanced?"

"Glad that you understand their existence, Agent Walker," he replied, smiling. "Their symmetrical beauty is what made me successful these years."

"Yeah, yeah, and then you'll die if one pops out," I snickered.

"Whoah, whoah guys, knock it off," Lavi intervened. "Beauty spots or not, who cares. It's his problem," he added, waving his hand nonchalantly.

"Agent Bookman!" the Two-Pimpled man shrieked in a womanly-motherly way, causing us to jerk up.

"Y-yes?" answered the red-headed teen, scratching his head.

"You should stand up properly! Don't slump your shoulders inward or people will think you're unfeminine-like!"

"Aw would you just stop that? Gah! This is so infuriating!" I demanded. "Go get a girlfriend and a life!"

"Ahaha, I bet he tried flirting with a girl before and it didn't work out. And he would go lock himself in the car and turn on sad music, crying, right?" Lavi smirked at the blonde man.

_**

* * *

Flashback**_

It was a rainy day, and Link locked himself in his car, crying while singing along to a sad song he was listening.

"All by myself… Don't wanna be… All by myself" the song sang.

In correspondence, Link sang the same lyrics in a 'whimpering, crying' manner, " I'm a-a-all b-by m-myself, b-boh-hoho *sniffle*, D-don't wanna.. w-wanna b-be hihihi *whimpers*.."

The eye liner he wore was all ruined on his face.

_**End of Flashback

* * *

**_

Link's eyes' widened, "N-no, no, if you did saw someone cry in the car, that wasn't m-me."

"Owh really??" Me and Lavi asked in unison.

And the arguement goes on until we've reached the castle. Mind you, it took us just 20 minutes to reach the Trick Heart castle. The path is truly a splendid shortcut we'll ever have. It's quite useful for me to chase Master every time he ditches me. I'll show him what it's like to be left with these debts!

In front of us was a giant castle, which was decorated heavily with Victorian carvings, everywhere you look at. The doors, gates and windows were nicely decorated with a 'Two wings and a Heart in the middle' design. There was an ancient and finely carved name-plate hanging on the gate, "Trick Heart". There was a vast garden at the right side of the castle and a forest to the left.

We went inside after the guards at the gate approved our presence.

"We'll split from here," the Two-Pimple man told us, before vanishing into the crowd of people.

It took us a while to get accustomed to the crowd but we blended in well. We stood by the table which had banquets of food nicely decorated and placed on it and watched from aside, guests of honour coming into the castle as they walked on the long red carpet. Some of them were dressed in 'Alice in Wonderland' themed outfits. Howard said that people with rose symbol and wears 'Alice in Wonderland' themed outfit are from the Order, in the other words, our allies. The party was more of a 'costume party than a birthday party' as many people we saw were dressed in various costumes. Some dressed as clowns, characters from different classic fairy tales while others dressed up as random monsters and demons, like angels, devils, vampires, etc.

Among the guests, I saw another blonde kid, who's perhaps the same age as I am, wearing a red coat and his hair was also braided at the back of his hair. Reminds me of someone… And beside him was an armoured guy. A bodyguard perhaps?

"Al, any signs of that Black order guys?" the kid asked the armoured guy.

"Nope, nii-san. I don't see any of them," he replied.

To my surprise the voice that came out from armoured guy was the more of a kid's. They both saw me looking at them and so they were gonna approach me until…

"Ladies and Gentlemen! The Princess has arrived!" someone from the mic declared.

The lights became slightly dimmer, and the spotlights was focused to a girl at the top of the stairs from which most of the guests of honour used earlier then.

There was silence first, then the girl spoke, "One, two, three!"

Then the music starts. The voice was slightly manly, somewhat familiar. Wait I know this song…!!

What the…?!


	5. Weird Princess

**A/n**: *Cries in Joy* Thank you for the reviews, faves and subscriptions (I'll say this again and again in every chapter! Mwahahaha). I especially wanna thank Marufu-chan, Izumi Tou 42, and Microwave-very-nice (Lol, nice name XD) for supporting me from the first to the current chapters.

BTW. I got a "perhaps-good-news-or-not" for you guys.

There's gonna be slight bit of romance. And… there's gonna be a new character comin' in.

Review's reply will be at the end of the story.

*dances*

-**Is what I would like to say, 2 years ago if my fic was always updated! D:  
.GAD. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS Gdvcgdahjdsa since this story was updated. I GOT BUSY. But I highly doubt any were waiting for this to be updated. I had prepared chapter 5, 2 years ago, but I never had the chance (busy) or bothered (lazy) to continue it and upload it.  
**  
_I have more to say after this chapter ends. This chapter's short, but I have good reasons why;;_

**Disclaimer**: The _human who writes this fic does not own DGM._

**Chapter 5**

**Allen's Point of View**

This is…. so wrong. I took a step backward and then froze in a dramatic pose, looking at the princess' disturbing way of dance. How disturbing, you may ask? Well readers out there, have any of you watched the movie "Another Cinderella Story?", starring Selena Gomez? Do you remember Brit/Brittany (Whatever her name was, she wasn't important. Anyway, she's one of the trampy twins, the one with braces)? That's right. The Princess danced like that, in a very disturbing way. It looked as if she had to go to the toilet so badly cause of a bad breakfast she had in the morning.

This song…

It's the "Single Ladies" By Beyonce.

And the Princess is…

Kanda?

…..With shorter hair?

Kanda is a princess, singing "Single Ladies"?

I looked at her/him. Okay, let's refer it as an 'it'. I observed it dancing in a weird, disturbing and vulgar manner along with the song's beat. This is… just… so wrong. I mean, dear readers, try your best imagining the grumpy-arse who has a sharp tongue, dancing the moves that Beyonce danced in her song, 'Single Ladies.'

"All the single ladies (All the single ladies)

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)….

Put your hands up!"

It's just…. Bleugh. I think I just lost my appetite.

All its movements were stiff, wrong and slow. But crowds continued to clap at its horrendous performance till the end.

It wasn't long till the Princess notices me and Lavi. It looked like someone had punched it on the guts. Noticing us, it just ran away. And everyone was back doing their own business.

"GYAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! Did ya see that, Al?" laughed out the Blonde kid. "Ahahahaah! Man, that was funny! Especially it was a pansy doing single ladies!"

"Oni-chan! It's impolite to talk about the Princess like that," remarked the armoured guy.

"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry," the kid replied, wiping tears of laughter off his face. "Owh right. Black order guys."

Before he got any chance of talking to us, I and Lavi disappeared to the toilet.

"Those people looked a bit suspicious," I explained to Lavi as I flushed the toilet. "Should we report to Tiedoll?"

"Hmmm… Nah, I think we should check them out first, just to make sure if they really are related to the incident."

"Okay."

I came out of the men's restroom and waited for Lavi to do finish up his business. Then it came again, that voice.

"You don't have to worry much about them. They're allies of the Black order," said the voice, it wasn't really a voice of a girl or a voice of a boy, you can say that it's somewhat in between. But maybe a lil softer like a girl's… I don't know.

"Who's there?" I replied to the voice, eyeing around the place to see if there's anyone else. "Is that you, God? Am I gonna go to heaven?"

"No, you egghead," it replied. "In Alice in Wonderland, I can appear and disappear whenever I want and wherever it is. I would be always up in the tree and I guide Alice to ger destination from time to time. So who or what am I?"

Hesitating and scratching my head, I answered, "A…Bird?"

"Ah for goodness sake!" the voice yelled at me. Then I realized, it was the same familiar voice that I heard from the Rabbit's Hole.

A flushed toilet sound followed by the sound of slammed door was heard from behind me. I turned around and found a puny brunette kid with a cat mask coming out from the door.

"I'm the damn Chesire Cat, smarty pants," he replied, placing his hands on his waist. "Ya ain't that bright are ya?"

"Hey so Al, let's—uh? Oh, and who's this kid?" Lavi asked, smiling as he kneels down in front of the kid. "Are you, perhaps, lost?"

"WHO YOU'RE CALLING A MIDGET WHO HAS BAD SENSE OF DIRECTION?" the kid exploded. "MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE YOU GUYS LOST, THEN I COULD JUST TAKE A DAY OFF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!"

Whoah, so much power coming from a small kid like him.

"Wait, are you here to guide us?" I questioned the lil kid.

"Yep. I'm the Chesire Cat. Now we have to go and meet the princess."

"Now?"

"Yes, Now."

"You mean now 'now'?"

"Yesh, NOW?"

"Now?"

"Now".

"Right now, NOW?"

"YESH, GET THAT INTO YOUR BLOODY SKULL, RED HEAD!"

**Lavi's Point of View**

Whoah~ Anger management much? Wait, when I think about it again, he sounds a bit like a girl… Nahhh, must be my imagination, I mean all young boys sound like girls. Duhh.

-  
**A/n**: I know I know, the story was short. To be honest, I feel like discontinuing this story OTL. This is epic failure. My English back then was rather simple and-well, doesn't make sense sometimes. I noticed a lot of simple flaws that needed to be improved and all, But the thing is, I already prepared chapter 5 (2 years ago) but never bothered to continue it. To just delete this chapter and everything, it'd be a waste. That's why I posted this chapter, Chapter 5, in an incomplete state.

So people, just say it already, the word "DISCONTINUE IT", to me. So that I'd actually _bother_ to discontinue this story. And I don't think anyone reads this anymore anyway.

So I apologize for this -"inconvenience" to those who actually DID wait for this fic to be continued, if there were any who actually waited, ehehe;; But maybe this way, I can make new fic stories with better English, story plot and jokes and lines that'd make sense;

I'm so sorry, everyone ; _ ; *insert dramatic crying pose*

I guess this is good bye?;


End file.
